Well, I hope Santa and Mrs. Claus don’t read this story until December 26 or we may not get any presents.
One of our favorite agencies to cover, 72andSunny New York in partnership with Trojan Condoms, have debuted Trojan Man’s musical talents with “The Big Sexy Album,” a collection of sex positive songs about all things intimate.
Ho, ho, ho.
Apparently, listeners will be able to cough, cough, ahem, ahem with songs that are sexually positive, promote protection and give sensual advice in eclectic musical stylings.
Some of the “get down ready” lyrics include:
“It’s the C.L.I.T.O.R.I.S. That’s the part that she likes best…remember the important, incredible, clitoris.” – “C.L.I.T.O.R.I.S.”
“When we sat on the bed, there was something between us, today was the day I touched a penis.” – “I Touched A Penis Today”
ALSO READ: It’s a big sexy world for Trojan Man
“I love to love you. I’m a love maniac. I’ll do anything for you. But I won’t go bareback.” – “I Won’t Go Bareback”
Those are enough to light up Rudopph’s nose. Watch one of the songs for yourself:
Apparently, we are safe from St. Nick getting detained as the album is actually designed for the longest night of the year, December 21.
Ho. Ho. Ho.
Contact Colin Costello at colin@reelchicago.com or follow him on Twitter @colincostello10.