James Corden is a “fat pussy” & other Ricky Gervais jokes

Last night, “Awards Season” kicked off in Beverly Hills with the 77th annual Golden Globe Awards. As is the case in recent years, the host was bigger news than the winners. Controversial host, Ricky Gervais, returned for a fifth and what he claims to be, “his last time,” as host of the ceremony.

Standing before a star-studded audience that included Tom Hanks, Meryl Streep and Martin Scorsese, Gervais’ monologue took on the tone of a Comedy Central Roast which left many in the audience looking like Tom Hanks below:

Here are the highlights of some of Gervais’ jokes, brace yourself:

  • “I came here in a limo tonight and the license plate was made by Felicity Huffman.”
  • “Martin Scorsese said the Marvel films remind him of theme parks. I don’t know what he’s doing hanging around theme parks – he’s not big enough to go on the rides.”
  • “Knives Out has three nominations tonight. See what can happen when you don’t dress people up as Cats?”
  • “We were going to do an In Memoriam section, but when I saw the list of people who had died this year, it wasn’t diverse enough. It was mostly white people. And I thought, ‘No, not on my watch.'”
  • “In a moment we’re going to see a short clip from The Irishman. It’s 88 minutes long.”
  • “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood was nearly three hours long. Leonardo DiCaprio attended the premiere, and by the end his date was too old for him.”
  • “Lots of big celebrities here tonight. Legends. Icons. On the same table, there’s Al Pacino, Robert De Niro and Baby Yoda. Oh no, that’s Joe Pesci, sorry.”
  • “Kevin Hart was fired from the Oscars for some offensive tweets. Luckily for me, the Hollywood Foreign Press can barely speak English and they’ve no idea what Twitter is, so I got offered this gig by fax.”
  • Gervais made sure to include positive reactions to Cats. “But Dame Judy Dench defended the film, saying it was the role she was born to play. Because she — I can’t do this next joke,” he paused to laugh. “Because she loves nothing better than plunking herself down on the carpet, lifting her leg, and licking her own munge.”

Gervais also took aim at the some of the audience’s employers – Disney, Amazon and Apple, saying, “Apple roared into the TV game with The Morning Show, a super drama about the importance of dignity and doing the right thing, made by a company that runs sweatshops in China. You say you’re woke, but the companies you work for, it’s unbelievable—Apple, Amazon, Disney. If ISIS started a streaming service, you’d call your agent.”

Reaction ranged from Hanks’ viral cringe to shocked to outright laughter. The crowd must have been prepared with Gervais already having a rep of more than a little bite to his humor.

The co-creator of The Office first skewered Hollywood when he first emceed back in 2010, leading then-HFPA President Phillip Berk’s to say after the show that Gervais had “crossed the line.” If you missed it here it is:

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The Winners

Besides Gervais’ 8-minute monologue there were winners and two heartfelt speeches. One came from comedian Ellen DeGeneres who won The Carol Burnett Award and Tom Hanks, who grew emotional upon receiving the Cecil B. deMille Award.

Poor Jennifer Aniston (The Morning Show) had to follow Gervais’ Apple joke with Reese Witherspoon to announce Ramy Youssef as a winner of the Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series.

The 28-year-old actor is the creator of Ramy,  the groundbreaking Hulu comedy about a Muslim American millennial living in New Jersey with his Egyptian immigrant family. Bounding onstage to accept the award Youssef said “Allahu Akbar. I want to thank my God.”

Moments later it was director Bong Joon-Ho’s turn to collect his Globe for Best Foreign Language Film: Parasitethe richly deserved win represents the first time the honor went to a South Korean film, representing one of the most vital film industries in the world today.

Hildur Guðnadóttir followed him into the record books as the first woman to ever win a Globe for Best Score for her wrenching and epic work on Joker.

Awkwafina became the first Asian-American woman to top the Best Actress in a Motion Picture category and to top it off, Bernie Taupin pointed out that the Golden Globe he won with Elton John for Best Original Song (“I’m Gonna Love Me Again” from Rocketman) was, incredibly, the first award  the two men have shared in their storied decades-long career.

Television:

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series — Musical or Comedy

  • Michael Douglas (“The Kominsky Method”)
  • Bill Hader (“Barry”)Ben Platt (“The Politician”)
  • Paul Rudd (“Living with Yourself”)
  • Ramy Youssef (“Ramy”) – WINNER

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series — Musical or Comedy

  • Christina Applegate (“Dead to Me”)
  • Rachel Brosnahan (“The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”)
  • Kirsten Dunst (“On Becoming a God in Central Florida”)
  • Natasha Lyonne (“Russian Doll”
  • Phoebe Waller-Bridge (“Fleabag”) – WINNER

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series — Drama

Brian Cox (“Succession”) – WINNER

  • Kit Harington (“Game of Thrones”)
  • Rami Malek (“Mr. Robot”)
  • Tobias Menzies (“The Crown”)
  • Billy Porter (“Pose”)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series — Drama

  • Jennifer Aniston (“The Morning Show”)
  • Olivia Colman (“The Crown”) – WINNER
  • Jodie Comer (“Killing Eve”)
  • Nicole Kidman (“Big Little Lies”)
  • Reese Witherspoon (“The Morning Show”)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

  • Christopher Abbott (“Catch-22”)
  • Sacha Baron Cohen (“The Spy”)
  • Russell Crowe (“The Loudest Voice”) – WINNER
  • Jared Harris (“Chernobyl”)
  • Sam Rockwell (“Fosse/Verdon”)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

  • Kaitlyn Dever (“Unbelievable”)
  • Joey King (“The Act”)
  • Helen Mirren (“Catherine the Great”)
  • Merritt Wever (“Unbelievable”)
  • Michelle Williams (“Fosse/Verdon”) – WINNER

Best Television Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

  • “Catch-22″
  • “Chernobyl” – WINNER
  • “Fosse/Verdon”The Loudest Voice
  • “Unbelievable”

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

  • Patricia Arquette (“The Act”) – WINNER
  • Helena Bonham Carter (“The Crown”)
  • Toni Collette (“Unbelievable”)
  • Meryl Streep (“Big Little Lies”)
  • Emily Watson (“Chernobyl”)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

  • Alan Arkin (“The Kominsky Method”)
  • Kieran Culkin (“Succession”)
  • Andrew Scott (“Fleabag”)
  • Stellan Skarsgård (“Chernobyl”) – WINNER
  • Henry Winkler (“Barry”)
  • Best Television Series — Drama
  • “Big Little Lies””The Crown”
  • “Killing Eve””The Morning Show”
  • “Succession” – WINNER

Best Television Series — Musical or Comedy

  • “Barry”“Fleabag” – WINNER
  • The Kominsky Method”
  • “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”
  • “The Politician”

Movies:

Best Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy

  • “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” – WINNER
  • “Jojo Rabbit””Knives Out”
  • “Rocketman”
  • “Dolemite Is My Name”

Best Motion Picture — Drama

  • “The Irishman””Marriage Story”
  • 1917” – WINNER
  • “Joker”
  • “The Two Popes”

Best Motion Picture — Foreign Language

  • “The Farewell””Pain and Glory”
  • “Portrait of a Lady on Fire”
  • “Parasite” – WINNER
  • “Les Misérables”

Best Screenplay — Motion Picture

  • Noah Baumbach (“Marriage Story”)
  • Bong Joon-ho and Han Jin-won (“Parasite”)
  • Anthony McCarten (“The Two Popes”)
  • Quentin Tarantino (“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”) – WINNER
  • Steven Zaillian (“The Irishman”)

Best Original Song — Motion Picture

  • “Beautiful Ghosts” (“Cats”)
  • “(I’m Gonna) Love Me Again” (“Rocketman”) – WINNER
  • “Into the Unknown” (“Frozen II”)
  • “Spirit” (“The Lion King”)
  • “Stand Up” (“Harriet”)

Best Original Score — Motion Picture

  • Hildur Guðnadóttir (“Joker”) – WINNER
  • Randy Newman (“Marriage Story”)
  • Thomas Newman (“1917”)
  • Daniel Pemberton (“Motherless Brooklyn”)
  • Alexandre Desplat (“Little Women”)

Best Actor in a Supporting Role in Any Motion Picture

  • Tom Hanks (“A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood”)
  • Anthony Hopkins (“The Two Popes”)
  • Al Pacino (“The Irishman”)
  • Joe Pesci (“The Irishman”)Brad Pitt (“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”) – WINNER

Best Actress in a Supporting Role in Any Motion Picture

  • Kathy Bates (“Richard Jewell”)
  • Annette Bening (“The Report”)
  • Laura Dern (“Marriage Story”) – WINNER
  • Jennifer Lopez (“Hustlers”)
  • Margot Robbie (“Bombshell”)

Best Actor in a Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy

  • Daniel Craig (“Knives Out”)
  • Roman Griffin Davis (“Jojo Rabbit”)
  • Leonardo DiCaprio (“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”)
  • Taron Egerton (“Rocketman”) – WINNER
  • Eddie Murphy (“Dolemite Is My Name“)

Best Motion Picture — Animated

  • “Frozen II”
  • “How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World”
  • “Missing Link” – WINNER
  • Toy Story 4″
  • “Lion King”

Best Actor in a Motion Picture — Drama

  • Christian Bale (“Ford v Ferrari”)
  • Antonio Banderas (“Pain and Glory”)
  • Adam Driver (“Marriage Story”)
  • Joaquin Phoenix (“Joker”) – WINNER
  • Jonathan Pryce (“The Two Popes”)

Best Actress in a Motion Picture — Drama

  • Cynthia Erivo (“Harriet”)Scarlett Johansson (“Marriage Story”)Saoirse Ronan (“Little Women”)Charlize Theron (“Bombshell”)
  • Renée Zellweger (“Judy”) – WINNER

Best Actress in a Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy

  • Awkwafina (“The Farewell”) – WINNER
  • Ana de Armas (“Knives Out”)
  • Cate Blanchett (“Where’d You Go, Bernadette”)
  • Beanie Feldstein (“Booksmart”)
  • Emma Thompson (“Late Night”)

Best Director — Motion Picture

  • Bong Joon-ho (“Parasite”)
  • Sam Mendes (“1917”) – WINNER
  • Todd Phillips (“Joker”)
  • Martin Scorsese (“The Irishman”)
  • Quentin Tarantino (“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”)

Contact Colin Costello at colin@reel360.com

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