Bullock, Blanchett and Hathaway can’t stop ‘Ocean’s 8’ from sinking

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Unfortunately, the beauty of the cast, makeup, and costumes are the highlights of the film.

(EDITORS NOTE: This is a repost from the blog Just Joia Shootin the Sh*t) I had high hopes going in to watch Ocean’s 8. The film boasts an amazing cast who have racked up Academy Awards, Golden Globes, and Emmy awards among them. Academy Award winner, Sandra Bullock leads the female driven film as Debbie Ocean, Danny Ocean’s (George Clooney) sister, who has just spent the past 5 years in prison.

She plays the role super dry and confident, all while looking the best she has ever looked. Cate Blanchett plays her old friend and partner in crime, Lou and helps her gather their team of beautiful and talented criminals.

The dynamic duo amasses a posse of gorgeous specialists to fill each role in the heist. Helena Bonham Carter plays washed up 90’s fashion designer and icon Rose Weil, who seems to embody Betsey Johnson. It is her responsibility to dress movie star Daphne Kluger (Anne Hathaway) and demand that she wear a $150 million Cartier diamond necklace to the Met Gala, which is what they want to steal and where the crew intends to run their heist.

Mindy Kaling continues to expand her feature film accomplishments as diamond and jewelry expert Amita while Rihanna plays Nine Ball, a genius hacker sporting a thick head of braids reminiscent of Janet Jackson in Poetic Justice. Golden Globe winner Sarah Paulson is hustler turned homemaker Tammy, who plays an integral part in gaining access to the Met Gala for all of them. Relative newcomer Awkwafina (Neighbors 2) brings added diversity to the cast as Constance, the one responsible for lifting the necklace off the neck of fictional movie starlet Daphne Kluger (Anne Hathaway).

Each one of these stunning and brilliant actresses bring their A game and all of their performances were excellent. I don’t know if it was makeup, some kind of beauty filter, or even CGI that was used to make all of their faces flawless, but they all looked absolutely breathtaking. Ocean’s 8 showcases the loveliness of them all. Cate Blanchett dazzles as a motorcycle riding, leather pant wearing criminal mastermind, while Anne Hathaway delights as a pouty lipped, egocentric, spoiled celebrity tartlet. Every scene has them in exquisite makeup and perfectly styled outfits, then we are treated to seeing each one of them in their magnificent Gala gowns.

Unfortunately, the beauty of the cast, makeup, and costumes are the highlights of the film. As much as I would love to support a female writer, the script was the weakest part of the film. While I greatly enjoyed the candy coating, the core lacked substance. The excitement and suspense we have enjoyed and come to expect from an “Ocean’s” movie was not there. The twist wasn’t exactly a twist, it was more of an explanation. We as the audience never had an “edge of our seat” or gasp-worthy moment. When the big plot twist was revealed it wasn’t, “OMG I totally didn’t see that one coming” it was more, “oooooh so that explains it” almost as if it was an after thought. Writers Gary Ross and Olivia Milch should have given the script at least another re-write before filming. There were zero surprises in a film that should be suspenseful and exciting. The only thing that surprised me was how amazing the actresses all looked during their close-up shots.

This was a pretty film, very well shot and well directed with a pretty cast, wearing pretty clothes. It was like watching a bunch of Barbie dolls play dress up on film. I went in expecting an Ocean’s 11 movie with an all female cast and I was immensely disappointed. The award winning cast deserved a better script. No matter how tremendous the cinematography, acting, editing, and music are in a film, it can never make up for poor writing. This wasn’t supposed to be a Barbie fashion show with no substance, this was supposed to be a female forward Hollywood blockbuster. As much as I want to support each one of these actresses because they all did an impeccable job with what they were given to work with, I can’t recommend this movie to anyone who is looking for anything more than some pretty eye candy.

Ocean’s 8 is now in theaters.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Joia_Davida_Shootin_the_shit
Guest Critic Joia DaVida

Joia DaVida is a Jersey girl at heart, but after living in Southern Florida for over 20 years, packed up her two brilliant and beautiful daughters and road tripped across America to relocate in LA, California. Now she’s living life to it’s fullest, enjoying everything Los Angeles has to offer – including CBM and genre films. Follow her blog here.

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