Whoa! Talk about “Up, up and away!” In a bold, unexpected twist worthy of a multiverse shake-up, director James Gunn has announced that Reel 360 News—yes, the real entertainment news outlet you’re reading right now—will officially replace the iconic Daily Planet in his upcoming Superman reboot.
That’s right: Perry White is out, and publisher Barbara Roche is in.
The change comes as part of Gunn’s plan to ground the new Superman film in a “more contemporary media landscape,” which means trade blogs, pun-filled headlines, and Instagram reels of red carpet B-roll. “We asked ourselves: who’s still reading newspapers?” said Gunn during an imaginary press conference. “Then someone said ‘Reel 360 covers literally everything in Hollywood, London, New York, and sometimes crafts services.’ So we called them up.”
Inside the New Metropolis
Sources confirm that Superman—played by David Corenswet—will now be a lowly editorial intern at Reel 360, covering celebrity hair transformations and SAG-AFTRA picket lines between saving the world. Lois Lane (Rachel Brosnahan) is reportedly a jaded digital editor who keeps getting ghosted by PR reps.
“Lois isn’t chasing Pulitzer Prizes anymore,” Gunn added. “She’s trying to get a quote from Timothée Chalamet’s publicist while dodging clickbait.” Jimmy Olsen, now reimagined as a Gen-Z TikTok video producer, will go by “J.O.” and have a ring light surgically implanted.
AI Ruth Ratny to Make Cameo
Even more shocking? AI Ruth Ratny—Reel Chicago’s late, beloved founder, recently resurrected via artificial intelligence—will appear in the film as the Metropolis bureau chief.
In a leaked line of dialogue, AI Ruth allegedly growls, “Clark, stop filing soft features about brunch spots in Metropolis and go find the scoop. Also, where’s my tiara?” Her character is expected to offer Superman both hard-hitting journalism advice and critiques on the city’s weak third-wave coffee scene.
Meta, Much?
Gunn says the movie will explore themes of “truth, justice, and the algorithmic way,” with Superman torn between stopping Doomsday or going viral on Threads. Early footage shows Supes frantically uploading a TikTok while blocking a meteor with one hand. The caption? “Metropolis problems. #Monday #SuperStrength #OOTD”
Final Thought
In a statement released exclusively to Reel 360, publisher Barbara Roche said, “When James called, I assumed it was spam. But then he said, ‘I want you to be the new Perry White,’ and I said, ‘Cool, but I’m bringing the tiara, AI Ruth, and our Reel Chicago archives with us.’”
She paused, then added, “Also, Superman has to cover The Midwest Film Festival or he’s out.” James Gunn’s Superman hits theaters in July 2026. Reel 360 hits inboxes… every day.
Happy April Fools’ Day!
The Geek is a working screenwriter, director and screenwriting instructor.
REELated:
Cast assembles as Marvel announces Avengers: Doomsday has started production
